


What Comes Next, Alien Sex?

by zempasuchil



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Community: blindfold_spn, M/M, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-21
Updated: 2013-02-17
Packaged: 2017-10-24 09:13:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/261631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zempasuchil/pseuds/zempasuchil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen really IS too beautiful to be human. His true alien form is a little... strange.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It's not until the third date that Jared puts out - he's classy and sensitive like that, okay, and the fact that he puts a number on it doesn't mean anything - but it's not until the tenth that Jensen's secret comes up.

He doesn't so much bring it up in conversation as it brings _itself_ up.

Jared squirms on his stomach, and Jensen is like, all over him - his hands are everywhere, and he's licked a hot trail down Jared's back. He's got his hands kneading Jared's ass, stroking down his sides, on the back of his thighs, stroking down the back of his balls, and then suddenly his cool wet tongue squirming up against Jared's ass, lapping at his hole.

"Oh, oh wow," Jared says. "Oh god." He squirms some more and pants, "That - that thing with your mouth -"

"You like it?" Jensen asks, and his mouth is close up on the knob of Jared's spine, but Jared can swear he feels it licking under his ear, making him shiver, and the backs of his legs are wet, and -

"Whoa, how many mouths do you _have?_ " Jared says, stilling, trying to turn his head over his shoulder. He can't really move, though, since Jensen lies on him suddenly, full-body length, and lets out a sigh. But that doesn't make sense, or maybe Jared is just woozy with great foreplay, because he can swear that wet thing is still slicking up his hole, unless -

"About that," Jensen says. "Would you believe me if I told you I'm an alien?"

"What??" asks Jared. "That - what? Weren't we talking about how you have many mouths?"

"No, no, I don't - um. Well, sort of. There's also."

"Okay, okay." Jared is man enough to admit he's a little nervous at this. "What's the bad news?" He is starting to feel a little uncomfortable now that they've put a pause on the sexy start they had going. Now they're just two dudes lying naked and confused in bed, and Jared's starting to feel more sticky and less hot.

"I have... alien things. I have tentacles."

What? "Is this a Japanese porno?"

"What?" Jensen almost laughs. "Hey," he says, sobering up, "I can understand if you wanna - if you don't wanna - we can..." He sounds remorseful, and starts to move off of Jared.

"Waaaaait." Jared reaches for Jensen's wrist, or where he thinks Jensen's wrist will be, and hopes not to accidentally grab an alien appendage. "We can talk about this. I was definitely not _not_ enjoying myself."

"Really?" Jensen asks.

"No shit, Sherlock. I mean, ho boy."

"But it doesn't bother you?"

"Um."

"Do you need time to think about it?"

Jared is pretty sure that's exactly what he doesn't need, time to think too hard about it, time to look at Jensen and think of how he is a preternaturally beautiful alien hiding stingers or some master plan to propagate his alien race among humankind. _Whoa there, Padalecki_ , he thinks. _Don't borrow trouble._ Instead, he hums contemplatively and wiggles back against Jensen, not hard enough to seem like he's trying to escape, but enough to make a little friction. Jensen's breathing catches. "I think I could actually use a little ... persuasion? Convince me."

"Hmm." Jensen ducks his head down towards Jared's ear. "Do you want an essay on the potential uses of tentacles and optimal technique?" That wet licking sensation starts up again, this time on the insides of Jared's thighs, and something not too wet or cold brackets his waist in what, under these circumstances, passes for a reassuring manner. "Or maybe you want a demonstration?" Jensen's voice is definitely lower and teasing now, making Jared grin into the pillow.

The tentacle rimming him pushes a little harder, flicks a little wilder. Jared twitches up into Jensen, who is still blanketing him, firm and warm and even mostly familiar against his back.

"You want?" Jensen asks.

"Oh, come _on_ ," Jared groans, and bucks back against the teasing tentacle. "Come on. In me?"

It was wet enough that pushing past Jared's entrance didn't even hurt, only made him full-body twitch and moan in a sort of embarrassingly high pitch. Jensen chuckles, sending goosebumps over Jared's neck. "Deeper?" Jensen asks.

Jared can only nod helplessly, and groan at the stretch of it. It's not sharp, too smooth to register as mere pain. The suckers ripple against his rim, making him shiver. It isn't cold, it's as warm as the rest of Jensen's body, but the wetness it leaves - not slime, don't think of slime - cools rapidly in the air, making a shiver run up his spine and back down again. Or maybe those were more tentacles. He can't see, pinned on his stomach like this, which is apparently _really_ working for him.

Jared squirms, and Jensen sticks a finger in Jared's mouth, which Jared sucks greedily, scrapes a little with this teeth -- and then there's a tentacle in there too, a thin wet thing that's soft and hard at the same time, a lot like a tongue. It tastes a little salty, but familiar, like saliva. But - it's definitely bigger, bunching and swelling and _wow_ actually really hot, and - oh god, something warm is sliding around his balls, and he spreads his legs wider.

"Yeah, oh," he moans, and Jensen's voice is a little less composed when he asks "This is good?" A tendril winds slowly around Jared's cock, barely squeezing, but the slick slide of it against his sensitive skin drives Jared nuts. Jared moans an affirmative _mmhmm_ around Jensen's tentacle, sucks at it harder, trying to get more in his mouth, and Jensen makes a little choking sound.

"What are the suckers for?" Jared asks, carefully, trying not to accidentally bite. Jensen pauses and loosens his grip - Jared jerks back against his warm body protesting the sudden stillness - and hums contemplatively.

"All right," Jensen says, "I'll show you." Suddenly Jared feels a twinge, a pressure, a _something_ inside him - only a small change but oh _god_. He squirms, and Jensen must push in a little bit more because suddenly it hits that spot and everything is hot and white behind his eyes. Jared's shout is muffled by the tentacle in his mouth, and he swallows as it gushes moisture.

Jared swallows, and swallows, and keeps swallowing, and then Jensen is gasping hot against the skin between Jared's shoulderblades, his teeth scraping as he bites down a little. He writhes and thrusts the tentacle in Jared's ass deeper, hitting Jared's prostate again, twisting and knotting the tip against it. It doesn't take much and Jared is coming, clenching around Jensen, who groans again and comes too, shooting hot streaks across Jared's back. Jared realizes Jensen's basically come untouched, if you don't count tentacles as penises, and damn if that isn't the hottest sex he's had in, hell, he can't remember. He's just a sated panting wet mess.

"You," Jared says, "are cleaning my sheets."

Jensen wriggles up to smile and snort against Jared's neck. "Not if I abduct you."

"Fine by me!" says Jared. "No more sheets! Probe me again?"

"Later," Jensen says. "I'm tired. And hungry."

"Cold pizza good?"

"It's _great_."

THE END

 


	2. the Prequel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sort of prequel/backstory/snippet collection of Jensen&Danneel alien friendship worldbuilding, Jensen hooking up with strangers in bars exploring this new human sexuality thing, meeting Jared, with Danneel/Genevieve background.

You'd think that if you were an alien who crash landed on earth with a particularly high-fashion disguise (his family could afford it, after all; he wasn't going to get exiled in THAT much disgrace), you wouldn't get tired of the dating scene. After all, the sensation interface on this body was fabulously designed, and there are some people who are actually into what he's got underneath. He's not the first of his kind to land on this planet, even after the disguise technology was perfected. Who knew some people could see past the sea-creatures they had here to grasp the potential awesomeness of tentacles? Well, Danneel knows how to navigate this planet and its circles, and Jensen has a lot to learn from her. He figures he'll get along fine and have some great just-for-fun sex along the way. What he doesn't plan on is swooning over Jared Padalecki like the lead of his own special sci-fi rom-com.

When he first reaches Earth, he crashes with his cousin Danneel while he tries to figure out what to do. Danneel is a bit further from the throne than he is, but she hates politics, and is happy to spend her youth traveling.

"Does mom still say I'm slumming?" she asks before she hits the blender. They're making fruit smoothies. Dany loves them; Jensen's hoping they're worth it. He's got a whole new cuisine to get accustomed to; he guesses he can't just eat sushi for the rest of his life here.

"Yeah," he says, "but they're a bit more accepting of your free spirit. She told me to give you this." He sets a shiny red box on the table.

"Thanks. I'll listen to it later."

Jensen smirks. He's sure the voicemail is some endless complaint about the current royal family drama, Danneel's younger siblings, pleas to Danneel to come back to civilization and stop slumming around on third-rate planets like Earth, and of course, the latest on Jensen's procilivities.

"She's gonna tell you all the gossip about me back home."

"You should tell me first so I get the record straight."

"It's nothing real, you know. Just drama and then my parents trying to keep me out of trouble."

"Out of trouble like, keep you from doing shameful things in the family name? Or keep you out of danger?"

Jensen shrugs as Danneel hands him a smoothie. It's purplish. "Both?"

Danneel just shakes her head at him. "Keep your partying off-planet, Jay. Why do you think I travel so far? You want to come out with me tomorrow night?"

Danneel and Jensen live pretty decently on the pocket change their parents give them. Earth costs an assload to get to, but once you're there it's really cheap to live considering how valuable they find gold and silver, which is the byproduct of some of the actually expensive substances of their home planet. Jensen's surprised the planet hasn't attracted more vacationers just for that reason, but like he said, the disguise technology is only worth it if you get the really expensive, really nice stuff. Jensen, in exile-slash-time-out, had the travel and the suit taken care of by his family who were so eager to see him gone. Well, fuck them for the time being, he knows it's only an extended vacation where he's supposed to get his youthful indiscretions and wanderlust out of his system. He'll do what he wants, knowing that nobody will know or care.

So Jensen goes out with Danneel the next night. He follows her lead, which ends with them both making out with people against the back wall. Tongues are a lot like tentacles, Jensen figures out; he's just disappointed at how small they are, and the lack of suckers. Still, this girl who's been flirting with him all night, she's really into it, rubbing up against him.

"Are you clean?"

"I just took a shower before we got here."

She looks at him like he's crazy.

"Haha, of course I'm clean." Jensen guesses she's worried about diseases. Yeah, he's clean, he's read the manual; these disguises are perfectly safe as long as he doesn't unzip, so to speak.

The girl's taking him by the hand and leading him outside, which he's kind of excited, kind of nervous, and kind of confused about, when Danneel grabs his hand.

"Jensen," she says, and he clings back a little, nervous. "I just got a call from your mom, she says it's a family emergency."

Jensen's would-be hookup's eyes go wide. "Shit," Jensen says, trying not to laugh at the idea of an intergalactic phone call. "I'm sorry, hon," and the girl wrinkles her nose because it's pretty obvious he doesn't remember her name, "I really have to go."

"Of course, of course, I hope everything's okay -"

And then Jensen and Danneel are headed back in a cab. Danneel hasn't gone native enough to have a car.

"Man, you don't even know what you're getting into," Danneel says, smacking Jensen on the bicep. "You've taken your equipment out for a test run, right?" She gestures at his crotch, barely showing his half-hard dick.

"Um," Jensen says, and Danneel laughs.

"I thought so. Come back to my place and we'll watch porn?"

Jensen makes a "gross" face, then laughs, because, hell, he's gonna want to get used to it sometime. Watching porn with a new body and a pretty hot cousin is actually sounding more enjoyable than throwing himself on some poor unexpecting earthling.

 

Jensen has a couple meaningless encounters where he hasn't gotten particularly into it - really, he wants to make friends, and sex can be fun but he knows the sensitivity of his equipment is not fabulous compared to what he can get at home with him and his own tentacles. Finally, Danneel introduces him to a friend of hers who spends half an hour talking to him about Japanese porn and woodcuts with octopi and how tentacles are actually really hot, and Jensen can't wait to leave with her. On their way out Jensen catches Dani's eye and gives her a big double thumbs-up, hoping Mara doesn't see.

It's awesome. It's totally awesome, and he can't tell Mara a thing obviously, but he sticks his hand down where she can't see, right, and pulls one out of his suitspace, and when he slides it just barely touching up and down against her vulva the noises she makes are the best noises he's heard yet. He uses his suckers just barely, latches one onto her clit and she arches off the bed, and when she comes it's completely unrestrained and he's completely, completely into it. Women, he decides, are completely hot in ways that are not just soft and curvy. They are wet and slippery and his tentacles are really on board with that. In the afterglow she says she's never met a hand like his, and Jensen just smirks, and feels a little bad for her now-ruined standards.

 

The next time Jensen goes home, it's with another guy.

This isn't surprising to him really, he'd just been observing all this male-female hookup behavior and he'd gotten the idea that this didn't happen much. It didn't occur to him that men would want to pick him up, but apparently (as Dani told him later), she thought he'd do better with less of a subculture.

Dani doesn't get that any human culture is weird to him. And Jensen really misses being probed, if you are hip to cheesy alien jokes, which Jensen is because that's Danneel and his shared weird sense of humor.

"Use your eyes and your eyelashes. Let your mouth fall open a little. Here, here, chapstick." Danneel is coaching him. They are in a bar that is not necessarily a gay bar but in what's apparently the gay neighborhood, so you can't help but run into gays wherever you go.

"You're trying to set me up," Jensen says, smacking his lips.

"Only because I'm going to make you come with to the lesbian bar next weekend. Anyway, you wanted to."

"Sure, yeah, but. I don't even dance."

"You won't have to, I'll dance enough for both of us. Just look cute." She pinches his cheek and then kisses it, and Jensen rolls his eyes.

Jensen sits there with Dani for a bit, then as soon as she goes to dance a really nice looking dark-haired, olive-skinned guy pulls up a seat next to him. "Hey there, can I buy you a drink?" He's like an inch or two shorter than Jensen, but he's got about twice the confidence.

Jensen tips his beer at the guy and gives a smile. "Still working on this one, but ask me again in a minute. You from around here?"

They make brief flirtatious conversation while they check each other out. Jensen's having a pretty good time with this. It's really not that different than with girls, they're both pretty into each other, and then when Rafa asks him to come home with him, Jensen knows his address, knows how to call a cab, knows how to use protection, and has been watching enough porn to know what exactly he should do with a guy.

It's awesome. The sex is awesome, and Jensen doesn't even have to wrap his own tentacle around his dick to get that extra special push towards orgasm. The insides of this body really are sensitive, and then when Rafa pulls out of him, climbs off and removes the condom, Jensen pushes him gently over and gives him a messy blowjob with an awesome, awesome tip of a tentacle in the ass. The guy blows his load down Jensen's throat, and Jensen swallows, because he's having such a good time he doesn't even mind.

He keeps Rafa's number, yeah, and manages to work up the nerve to go on a second date, but balks at a third. He's kind of afraid. What if he gets found out? He doesn't say this to Danneel, though, who he knows would roll her eyes and call him chicken. So what, Jensen does what he wants.

 

"You have to come with, Jensen," Danneel says over the phone. "It's my friend Mike's birthday and his sister Genevieve's going to be there."

"Genevieve?" Jensen asks, fidgeting with the frayed hole in his jeans. "Who?"

"You forget about her. My point is, you haven't been out for a week. You've just been watching TV and going for walks and reading books. I thought you wanted to have fun."

"I told you, I'm over the dating scene."

"This is just a birthday party, don't worry about it."

"So why do I have to come with?"

"I need you to wingman me."

Jensen knows what that means. "Genevieve, huh?"

"Shut up. She's the cutest little thing, Jensen, and I saw her first, so you'll have to back off."

"Calm down, Dani. Anyway, "cutest little thing" doesn't sound like my type."

"So I'll pick you up at 7:00 for dinner?"

Jensen sighs. "All right." He had been getting tired of lying around his apartment rubbing himself off on his tentacles.

She's right, really. Hooking up at clubs and bars is getting old, and even the fetish scene makes him nervous. Jensen's figured out that what he really wants is romance and something they call "vanilla" here. He's been lurking in bookstores and cafes trying to work up the nerve to talk to someone, but he has no idea what are normal topics of conversation. Hence the mountains of TV he's been watching. Danneel is a little disappointed he's not taking advantage of all he could, but you know what, she's just here to have fun. Jensen thinks he deserves a little comfort and downtime and cuddling after all that he's been through.

 

Seven o'clock and Dani picks him up in a cab; seven thirty and they're sitting at a nearly-full table when a short dark-haired woman and a tall, shaggy-haired but clean-shaven man walk up, and everyone says hello enthusiastically.

They go over to Mike first and both hug him, and Jensen hears "Genevieve," whom Danneel looks extra, extra happy to see. Jensen nudges her with his foot under the table and she bites her lip and kicks him back.

The tall guy sits across from him, reaches out a huge hand and says, "Hi, I'm Jared." Jensen takes it and Jared's grip sends him kind of weak in the knees. Or maybe it's the smile.

Wow.

So this hasn't really happened to Jensen before.

"So how do you know Mike?"

 

Jared is adorable. Jensen feels small just looking at him, even though this guy gives off the vibe of a goofy skinny kid, but apparently "skinny" is just in proportion, or probably it's those hips, and those legs, and waist - but wow his shoulders are really broad.

So yes, it would be fair to say that Jensen at first really had a thing for Jared's body.

But then through the course of dinner, he continued to be adorable a floppy-haired, and always smiling, and Jensen started to feel like the girl in one of those romantic comedies he'd started watching. Very enchanted. But, you know, better, because he could actually sit and have dinner and a conversation with this guy, instead of pining from afar or whatever.

Jensen's life is both way weirder and way better than a rom com.

After dinner they go back to Mike's apartment for drinks, and Mike puts on a new album he got as a gift, and they all relax, and Jensen finds himself on the couch next to Jared.

"So, where'd you say you were from again?"

"Um." Jensen suddenly can't remember his earth alibi. Jared's face is just too grinning and his eyes are too sparkling and he's too close. "Iowa. Middle of nowhere, Iowa."

"I have family in Iowa!"

"You do, huh? I moved around a lot," Jensen says, which maybe was the wrong thing, because Jared perks up at that too and asks "Where?" Jensen quickly diverts the attention to Jared. "You should tell me what's best about Vancouver, though! Since I'm new in town."

"You're not new, you've been here six months," Danneel says from an armchair where dark-haired Genevieve is sitting on one of the arms. Everyone laughs. Jared's smile is the biggest. Wow, Jensen is full of stupid thoughts today.

He spends the next ten minutes listening to Jared enthuse about the city and all the gorgeous places outside the city, in the country side, you know, and then the rest of the night listening to Jared talk about his dogs.

Jensen has never really met a dog but god, he would love to meet Jared's.

 

A few months after they've been dating pretty steadily, Jensen moves in with Jared. He's not attached to his apartment, he's really much more attached to Jared, and those dogs really are growing on him.

Unfortunately, Jared's shower is really slippery, and it doesn't take him long to have fallen.

Jared comes running when Jensen shouts, and then when he sees him he cracks up laughing.

Jensen has tentacles falling out of his suit. He's almost doubly naked, and all dishevelled, and it's so embarrassing. Jared is cracking up so hard he can't breathe.

"What's so funny!" Jensen can feel how red his face is.

"Shit, shit I'm sorry do you need help? Oh god you don't melt when you touch water or something, do you? Are you going to die from a cold?"

"No, screw you, I have my vaccinations, what do you think I am, a dumbass?" Jared is still cracking up and Jensen is sitting there wincing with his hand against his bare hip. "War of the Worlds is a cautionary tale!"

"You can't get a cold vaccine," Jared says.

"Shows how much you know about my alien technology."

Jared finally gets up off his own ass and reaches a hand out to Jensen to pull him up. He hands him a towel, too. "Ooh, Jensen, maybe you should show me," he purrs, and Jensen snorts as he wraps the towel around his waist and shivers at the suddenly-cool bathroom. "You okay?" Jared touches Jensen's hip, undoes the towel to hold it around Jensen and check out the hip he fell on.

"I'll be fine. Maybe bruise some. Hey," Jensen says as Jared pokes at it. "Seriously. This suit is self-repairing."

Jared laughs again, and kisses Jensen on the lips.

"Best politically convenient exile ever," Jensen says, and Jared snorts attractively in his face.


End file.
